Workaholism: Success or Secret Addiction

Growing up in dysfunctional families, many people tend to repress their emotions and avoid relationships by hiding themselves in something that does not require dealing with their emotions. This safety net or cover might be drugs or alcohol, but it might also be work.

Firstborn children especially tend to be overachievers, perhaps out of a desire to make up for or distance themselves from the family’s failings. Being an overachiever in school often leads to the child becoming a successful adult—at least in the eyes of society—in terms of social prestige and income. But overachieving can also lead to workaholism.

Too many people become workaholics because they are afraid of dealing with life and relationships. They forget to have fun. They forget how small is their place in the world and that the world is not depending on them.

Workaholism may be driven by guilt, a misguided desire to succeed, a desire to compensate, to prove yourself because of feelings that you are not enough, or an extreme desire to compete with others. It’s important to understand what is fueling your workaholism. It’s also important to overcome it.

Just like other behaviors that grow out of codependency, workaholism is an addiction—and it can create a vicious cycle that leads to loneliness, isolation, failed relationships, physical exhaustion and illness. Like a drug, workaholism creates a high when you are praised for what you accomplished, but it also requires more and more work to achieve the next high—to supersede what you have already done. Before burnout occurs, the workaholic needs to get help.

A good source for help is a local workaholics anonymous group, which functions along the same lines as many other twelve-step groups. Here are a few additional tips to avoid or break the cycle of workaholism:

· Be flexible with your schedule—if possible, try to work different times of the day—take a morning off, arrange your tasks differently. Work Saturday morning but take off Wednesday.
· Leave your work at work. Don’t bring the laptop home. Don’t check your work email from home. Studies show that leaving work at work makes workers more productive overall.
· Play as hard as you work. Schedule play dates with your spouse, children or friends. Commit to those appointments. You wouldn’t stand up your client or cancel an important meeting so why would you do so to the people most important in your life?

Work to live. Don’t live to work. Find balance and reward yourself.

Irene Watson is the author of "The Sitting Swing: Finding Wisdom to Know the Difference." She lives with her husband of 43 years in Austin, Texas.