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When I was asked by the IBS Network to review the book Romance, Riches and Restrooms by Tim Phelan, I had mixed feelings. One the one hand I was interested in any book concerning other people’s experience of IBS, but on the other, I knew that any intense concentration or work such as operating a computer would start to make my stomach tense and bring on my symptoms. Even reading with a purpose can have the same effect, but being a new member and having started a new self help group I wanted to do it for myself, other IBSers and the network. Unfortunately, the IBS Net work does not get a mention. What follows is the result of this endeavour!
From the start of Tim’s book I was struck by Tim Phelan’s easily readable writing style. He engaged me straight away, writing his inner most thoughts about his wish to succeed, the effect he is having on other people and how he desperately cares what other people think. My sympathy for Tim started when I read about his experience at a boarding school in Lawrenceville when he was fourteen. His English teacher came into his room to break the news that his father could no longer pay his tuition and the fact that this made him ashamed. Also I was given an insight into his attitudes and beliefs when he wrote about his father as ‘a charismatic Irish Catholic who worked hard and played even harder’, and how he had been affected by his parents divorce 5 years earlier. You could see how his own attitude to life had formed, seeing the result of his fathers ‘vices and addictions’ that ‘ultimately brought his rags to riches success story violently crashing down on him…and all of us’. Tim was determined to have a more stable life. These experiences obviously affected him deeply and perhaps contributed to the baggage he carried that possibly contributed to his IBS later on.
When Tim’s IBSd starts later in the book, I was stuck by the fact that he was so concerned about what other people would think of him and he would do anything to conceal his constant need for the toilet. His anxiety about not being near to toilet facilities, or a restroom as he put it, gradually unfolds throughout the book and starts to take over his life. The fact that he is so ashamed of this embarrassing disorder and cannot admit it to anyone, including a doctor, reflects the attitude of many people, particularly men. At one point in the book he decides not to see a doctor because he thinks the doctor will think he is a hypochondriac. I must admit I have felt this way myself before and after the many futile trips to the doctors about my IBS symptoms.
Even though I have IBSc and do not suffer from diarrhoea, I could not help drawing parallels with my own situation and how IBS can take over your life. In fact I can remember taking a toilet roll with me to a music grade exam and sitting next to the toilet, knowing I would have to make many visits. Later in the book Tim’s IBS influences his choice of job, the method and route he chooses to get to work, whether he can take a bus, train or plane, his girlfriends and male friends.
Later in the book, Tim decides to look for some medication to try to stop his diarrhoea. Feeling extremely embarrassed about buying medication that deals with, you know that bodily function, he chooses Pepto-Bismol as opposed to Imodium, because ‘the Maximum Strength’, billboard- sized font on the label saying ‘Anti-Diarrheal’ on Imodium would tell everybody about his problem. Next he tries an enema on the advice of a friend, followed by Imodium. Despite great hopes of relief from his problem, Tim finds these medications partial and disappointing. A feeling that I, and I am sure many people with IBS, get after yet another pill or potion from the chemist or doctors fails to live up to expectations.
Quite by chance Tim meets a friend who he gets on well with, and seems to have the same problem as him. It is suggested that they have a thing called Irritable bowel syndrome, but, he is advised that it should be diagnosed by a doctor. However, Tim considers going to the doctors but finds the whole thing too embarrassing, thinking the doctor will think him a hypochondriac or odd. So Tim decides to find out about this peculiar complaint on the internet to see if there is a book on it. There wasn’t one there were dozens of books. From one of them he read about visceral hypersensitivity, meaning ‘people with IBS have digestive tracts that are noticeably more sensitive to innocuous triggers that most people wouldn’t even notice. These triggers can be psychological or physical. Sometimes they can be both’. Other books suggested giving up caffeine, claiming both that coffee irritated the digestive tract and threw the ‘central nervous system into hyperdrive, making people overly alert an anxious. As I suffer with anxiety as part of my own IBS, I know that caffeine can exacerbate the problem and make me urinate more.
With only limited success from mainstream medical potions, Tim’s next port of call was alternative medicines and treatments. Starting with a colonic,( a bigger and repeated enema), then dedicated hypnotherapy tapes, followed by a combination of mainstream and alternative therapies. At this point, like most people who’ve had IBS for a long time, Tim is desperate and will try anything to help him go travelling and live a normal life. Although there is a seriousness about his problem and you feel for him, there are also some funny episodes, that, although embarrassing, make Tim and the reader laugh. You feel you want to read further to see how he gets on and to see if anything works.
Finally, after chancing a trip to Ireland with friends and seeing part of France, Tim is talked into seeing a doctor to have his IBS confirmed, and then subsequently referred to a cognitive behavioural therapist. This therapy is based on ‘the idea that our thoughts, assumptions, and beliefs determine how we react to external events’. Its aim is to replace your current thoughts with ‘new or more adaptive thoughts’ and practice them by ‘exposing yourself to all real-life situations that trigger your symptoms’ The book then goes into detail about this therapy. The impetus for this treatment is to go travelling to Europe with Tim’s new girlfriend.
Tim’s trip was a partial success, but he continued with his behavioural therapy and successfully reconditioned himself to keep his anxiety levels low in all situations except the bus into the financial sector. This would take considerable work, but he eventually cracks it! Perhaps there might be an answer for me here or at least a way forward. Maybe I can reprogram myself to not to tense my stomach when concentrating hard at the computer or in other situations. Having tried most other treatments, it is possible that this could be the key to living with Irritable bowel syndrome. Tim ends by saying he still has some bad days, but he’s more in control now. Everyones experience of IBS is different and they respond to treatments in there own individual way. Therefore, at an average price of about £13.00, I recommend this book as a good informative read, which will make you laugh and empathise with the character. If you can’t buy it, try to borrow it from the library. It also offers an insight into various therapies and hope that one might offer if not a cure, a way forward to live with Irritable bowel syndrome.
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